Anxiety. Anxiety. Anxiety.

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I have given this word so much importance in my life. I have fed my anxiety so much that it has become a monster that follows me around. Anxieties walk hand in hand with all my insecurities. They  won’t let me live the life I want, and I know I can overcome them, but I don’t know how.
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I talk about strong women and how we can do anything we put our hearts and minds to, but I do not believe that for myself. I talk about how we should not care about who society thinks we should be or how our bodies are “supposed” to look. I try to educate those around me as much as possible to shed a light on the high standards that are put on us.
I talk and I talk, but do I listen?
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Am I listening to what I am saying?
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I don’t think so, because when I look in the mirror I do not see the strong woman I encourage others to be. I act as though I am strong, but I am not. I act as though I have it all together, but I don’t. I act as though I am truly happy in my own skin, but I am struggling. My anxiousness and insecurities hold me back from being her. I don’t take risks because I am too afraid I will fail. There are so many opportunities missed and there are so many excuses that I’ve made.
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Sometimes it is hard for me to be around others because all I ever do is compare myself. The worst thing you could do is compare yourself to others, and yet, I do. Somewhere deep inside there is the woman I root for. I lost her at some point in my life. I let the monsters scare her away, but I need to fight for her.
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Deep down, I know I can overcome this, and I can take risks like I used to. I can walk into a room without fear or doubt. I think the first step is to realize that I have given my anxiety and insecurities power over me. I am the only one that can change my circumstances and the way I think and feel towards myself. I need to listen to the advice that I give others. I need to encourage myself with the same enthusiasm I give to others.
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It may not be today, but I will learn to love myself more. I will learn to take risks again and realize it is okay if I fail. I just need to remember to not give up and keep going. The important thing is that I am healthy and I am breathing. God has given me day after day to make up for the time lost and I will not waste another day. I will overcome my fears and it may not be right away, but I will get there one step at a time.
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Don’t let your emotions hold you back from living. Don’t let your insecurities hold you back from loving you. Don’t breathe life into something that is only going to tear you down. Be easy on yourself and don’t ever forget to fall in love with yourself all over again.
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Thank you, Rebecca Correa for your beautiful empowering words, and we are so blessed by your existence.
Maybe this Valentine’s Day is the perfect time to look inward and love those deepest parts of ourselves that we’ve hidden away. Remember that you are beautiful. You are loved. And You are powerful beyond belief.
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2 thoughts on “Facing Anxiety

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